 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: I am looking for ways to retain a healthy relationship with my parents, who have a history of trying to control me with their anxiety. I have learned the hard way that things that excite me — taking trips abroad, dating someone who doesn't align with their comfort zone, outdoor adventures — will trigger extreme worry and fear, to the point they will ask me not to do the thing, bargain with me to do it a different way, and, in some circumstances, threaten that my actions will result in extreme detriments to their physical health since they will worry about me the whole time. To be clear, I have no history of extreme actions — these activities would be considered fairly normal by most people. As a result, I have built up a boundary so thick they know virtually nothing that goes on in my life outside of general things with my job and where I live. This makes me extremely sad, as I end up keeping major things secret from them to avoid the anxiety roller coaster. It makes me feel like a naughty teenager, and I'm in my 30s. Is this the only way to retain a civil relationship with my parents? It really hurts, as I'd like to be able to confide in them without fear. — Emotionally Blackmailed | 
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